


There Goes My Sanity, Says the Author.

by Anonymous



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games) RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Begging, Crack Treated Seriously, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fingering, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, Humiliation, Light Angst, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Masturbation, Out of Character, Rough Oral Sex, SIKE THIS IS STRAIGHT PORN NOW, Safewords, Voyeurism, What Have I Done, authority kink, for real tho him of all people?, it’s supposed to read well so i hope it does, oh well, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23306719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: This is a Fifty Shades of Grey parody. This is purely for shiz and giggles. I’m so sorry to whoever that found this.You work for Hideo Kojima, and dating him. That’s pretty much it.This is Crack treated seriously. Therefore, the chapters will not read like crack. Beware.
Relationships: Kojima Hideo/Reader
Comments: 20
Kudos: 12
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Work

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I see as a crack concept, treated very seriously. I just want to see what will happen, to be honest. Tags might change in the future, who knows. Uhh gender neutral for now. Will be pretty short probably. Don’t have high expectations. Dear lord what have I done.

7:47 p.m. Tick. Tick.

It’s been an hour since you started this drawing. Giving a quick look around, everyone is working hard in their cubicles. Either artists scribbling over tablets, or programmers typing furiously on their keyboards.

And now, here you are. You have been staring at your unfinished art for about ten minutes, stylus immobile as your hand hover over your tablet, indecisive and slowly spacing out.

~

About 6 months ago, you joined Kojima Productions as a concept artist. Back then on your first day, you were as anxious as you were excited. Being able to learn from and work with legends from the industry, some of which were (and still are) your idols, was like a dream come true. Everyone was welcoming, which soothed your anxiety a small bit.

In the first month, they worked you down to your bones. You were barely catching up to your deadlines. Hideo Kojima, your boss,  your _ crush _ , and a genius that he is, was especially unforgiving. Constantly requesting last minute changes and scrapping ideas, there was barely any breathing room.

Despite all this, you powered through it, and working with senior artists was an enlightening experience. Collaborating with them, especially Yoji Shinkawa, your main artistic inspiration, you learned your strengths and weaknesses. With your improved skill set and just being around your colleagues, your work became more polished and efficient. Hideo also slowed down his requests as you understood his visions, and gave you the confidence boost that you desperately needed at the moment. It was a good time.

~

You hear two taps on the table, and snap out of your daze in confusion. A glance at the clock tells you that it’s 8:07. Reminiscing over your past sure took some time, and everyone is already packing up, getting ready to leave. _No overtime? That’s odd. Really?_ Another two taps on the table, and you turn to your boss, holding a small piece of paper, with an all-knowing smile. You freeze, and mentally freak out for a moment.  _ Do I have to redo the last sketch again? Please, not now.  _ You take the paper, read it and feel yourself blush instead.

_ My place, 8:30. Don’t be late. _

You pocket the note with a smile, and Hideo is already back in his office by the time you can give a reaction. Turning off the PC and packing up, you can’t wait to finally take a break. In your exhaustion, you almost forget your scarf, and quickly turns back to get it before stepping out of the office. It’s cold out, can’t forget that. 

You hurry your steps to Hideo’s place, as you anticipate for what’s to come when you get there.


	2. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re finally “home”, I guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people is actually reading this. Some even left Kudos. This is a very surprising turn of events. I expected no one to be here, period. I hope it doesn’t read as crack, even though it is. It’s supposed to read well, after all.

The silence in the elevator is deafening. You check your phone again. 5 minutes early. The elevator pings, and the door opens. You step out the elevator, pull out the keys that Hideo gave you, and unlock the door. Exhausted as you are, you barely remember to close the door before you flop face first into the couch, and give yourself the well-deserved stretch. 

After a few moments of face-planting the couch, you get up and rid yourself of your belongings, and place them neatly besides the couch. _That was quite the chore._ A beat. Something’s wrong. You look down at your feet and realize that you forgot to change into your slippers. That won’t do. _God knows he’ll complain about it._

Struggling to stand up properly, you take off your shoes, place it neatly near the doorway and put on your slippers. Now that your conscience is clear, you finally throw yourself on the couch, _properly,_ for a good, relaxing, thinking-about-nothing session.

~

To be absolutely honest with yourself, you have no idea how this relationship with Hideo happened. If you have to set a starting point, it would be back at your first month at Kojima Productions, when he brought a coffee to your table, which was cold by the time you woke up to drink it. Surprisingly, Hideo did not passive aggressively berate you for sleeping on the job, like he did with others. Both of you just decided to pretend it never happened.

From then on, the relationship slowly evolved. Coffee became a regular thing (though you tried your best to not fall asleep when it arrived), then he asked you to join him for coffee, which evolved to not-dates, which somehow evolved to both of you exchanging keys to each other’s apartment. For a good while, you contemplated if he knew about your pretty big crush on him. _Surely you hid it better than this._ Not to say you didn’t try flirting, but it didn't seem to hit as hard on him, as he did you. You’re sure that you turned into a blubbering mess every time Hideo said something remotely suggestive, as hard as you tried your best not to. It was a blur in those months. 

Despite the fact that you are in a relationship with him, Hideo is very professional at work. He is still a part of your working nightmare, and gives you overtime just like everyone else. He still gives you anxiety whenever he walks towards your cubicle with a piece of paper in hand, although he is always holding a smile, which makes him even more intimidating and surprisingly, quite sexy (when he’s talking to someone else. You are still scared shitless and turned on when he actually talks to you like this, just the portion of being scared shitless and anxious is much bigger. You ain’t telling him, though). He still rejects your ideas in a flash, if it doesn’t suits him. 

At work, the one who seems to truly understand him is Shinkawa. As your colleagues say in the water cooler gossip corner, Hideo is a smiling demon, and you also mentally complain about it. However, there’s one thing that you have that others doesn’t.

The only time he breaks his professionalism is after work (which usually means after overtime), when everyone is gone for the night. Hideo doesn’t seem to be a big fan of PDA on the streets though, even when outside work. It suits you just fine, as you’re not as touchy when you’re outside. Besides, these types of affection are best enjoyed in the comforts of your private homes.

At home though, Hideo seems to be a different person. He is even more talkative, which is quite a feat in itself, and shares a lot more about his personal interests. He usually talks about some new films or games that he likes, sometimes even bring you along to the cinema. For someone who made a short but legendary horror game, Hideo is surprisingly squeamish about horror movies, even letting out a screech once in a while. You often wonder just _how_ did he make that game. 

Another thing that most people don’t know is that Hideo is a bit of neat freak. Both of you don’t clean the house, or cook for the matter, despite you both have a perfectly functional kitchen at your respective homes. (You both quietly decide that it’s for the best, lest one of you burn down the house trying.) 

However, Hideo is very particular about certain things, like having drawers for specific items, or organizing his collectibles in an order that only he understands. He is the master of organized chaos. You once misplaced a PS4 controller, and Hideo gave you a murderous stare when he found out. You thought he might just kill you right then and there but he didn’t, and you just placed it back where it belonged, never misplaced another thing ever again. It’s not worth the hassle.

He is also more open to physical affection at home. Hideo rarely asks for it as that’s usually your job. If you snuggle just a bit closer when watching Hulu and such like, he returns the favor, often with a kiss. It took him a while to reach second base, with some sensual bribing on your part, and now you two just started on the third base. It’s fine by you, although sometimes you just wish you can get a home run sooner or later. Preferably sooner.

~

You hear the door open as you stop your floating thoughts. The door doesn’t even need unlocking. _Ah. You forgot to lock it._ Hideo doesn’t even shout a “I’m home!” as he walks in, takes off his shoes and belongings while holding a bag of take outs. He puts them away neatly, immediately, unlike the slob that you are. Somehow, nothing saves for the shoes ever touch the floor. You mumbles out a “Welcome back...” as he sits next to you and puts down the bag of take outs.

Hideo holds out his hand as he asks, “Too tired for dinner?”

You take the TV remote on the table next to you, and put it in his hand, sitting up. “Not now, not ever. What do we have here?”

After he turns on the TV and switch channels, Hideo takes out a container and chopsticks with a softer smile he saves for home, “Your favorite.”

Opening the container, you are delighted to find that it is in fact, your favorite. He pays a lot more attention that you think. You unwrap the chopsticks as he does the same, and both of you whisper “itadakimasu” before digging in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I’m splitting off the dinner as its own chapter, as I procrastinate on writing porn. I can’t believe I even typed that sentence. No, I ain’t gonna do the dialogue in Japanese, as google translate is way worse than what I have now, probably. Leave a comment. Why not?


	3. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner. Just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third Chapter, can’t believe I made it this far. For something made for shiz and giggles, it received a bigger positive feedback than what I anticipated. Thank you to the people who left comments!

Hideo and you have been watching TV for sometime. It is playing some kind of weird, philosophical movie that you don’t care to understand. The movie name isn’t on the screen, and you can’t even begin to guess what the movie is about. The bright contrast of colors, especially the blue and pink, is very aesthetically pleasing though. Hideo insisted on watching it, saying that it’s made by a friend of his. He seems to be enjoying it, despite the copious amount of blood on the screen, which _really shouldn’t go with dinner,_ but neither of you seem to care.

While you are more than halfway through your container, Hideo is finishing his first box. Yes, there’s a second box. As skinny as that body seems to be, he consumes a lot more food than one might expect. Although he’s usually satisfied with one portion, sometimes he goes for seconds. Also, there are always some small snacks on his table, which leads you to question just how he keeps his shape so well. Once in a blue moon, Hideo even helps you finish your leftovers, but only in private.

~

Throughout the dinner, neither of you said anything. It’s rude to talk when a movie’s playing, after all. You already finished your dinner, while Hideo is halfway through his second box. Although your eyes are glued to the screen, you can’t help but feel that someone is staring at you. You sneak a few glances at Hideo, but he’s focused on the movie too. 

A while later, Hideo closes his half finished box of curry, and walks over to put it in the fridge. When he comes back to lounge on the couch, you scoot yourself closer to him for a cuddle, and Hideo complies. He pulls you closer gently so that your head is resting on his chest. He gives a quick kiss to your forehead, and starts scratching your head lightly. For a moment, you couldn’t help but purr out of comfort.

As soothing as this may be, you can just feel Hideo staring into your head, and you feel your hair rise behind your neck. This nagging feeling won’t let you focus on the film, as beautiful as it is. When the credits are rolling, you shift and turn towards him, and Hideo is undoubtedly staring into your eyes, with a simmering but intense emotion. It’s _That Look._ The look that he gives you when he want something really badly, but have no idea how to ask for it.

Both of you stare at each other for what feels like eternity, as if time stopped in this moment. You are trying to come up with a response, but it’s not going too well as your brain is now mush, flustered, and screaming internally. Just as your mouth is opening, ready to say something that is undoubtedly idiotic, Hideo puts a finger on your lips, both shushing you and turning you as red as an apple.

Another long stare, and you are ready to bolt and hide in the closet out of embarrassment. Before you can do that, Hideo says something you never thought he would.

“I... I would like to try something new today. In bed, I mean.”

The first reaction you have is plain shock. _Him? Asking to try something new physically? This is a different timeline, surely._

Your second reaction is a disproportionate amount of hope. _Maybe he’s finally ready for the next step in our relationship!_ You two are not going all that slow in your physical relationship, but the sexual frustration of him leaving you hanging midway every time doesn’t make it feel any better.

What comes out of your mouth is “Wait, what?”

Hideo takes a deep breath, and repeats himself slowly, as if you didn’t hear it properly the first time. “I. Would like. To try. Something new. In. Bed. Today.”

Not wanting to let this change escape from your fingertips, you reassured him quickly, “Yes! Yes! Of course!” But, “Aren’t I usually the one to y’know, get things going?”

Hideo waves his hand dismissively to cover up his embarrassment. “I have an idea that I had been wanting to try for a while, but I wasn’t ready. Today, I’m ready for it.”

_So THAT’S why there were no overtime. He wants to try whatever this idea is._

“Alright. Let’s do it.”

Hideo lets out a small sigh of relief, and gives you a few pats on the shoulder with a smile tinged with embarrassment. “Wonderful. Wait for me in the bedroom, please. I just need a moment.” He nudges you, urging you to stand up, and you do. “Off you go.”

You look back at Hideo for a moment before walking into the bedroom, contemplate for a bit, before sitting yourself down at the bed waiting, for what might happen next. It’s going to be great, you can tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just gonna leave you hanging, riiiight there. Yup. I realized that porn is more difficult to write than I think it is, so now I’m procrastinating on it and it’s gonna take a while. Bad place to leave it, I know. Leave a comment, why the f**k not?


	4. The Moment You’ve Been Waiting For... Or Is It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what it is. Do I really have to explain it? Or is it really what you THINK it is? We shall find out. MUAHAHAHAHA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE TAGS. READ THE SODDING TAGS, PLEASE. If you don’t like anything on this list, please proceed to NOPE THE FUCK OUT, THANK YOU.
> 
> Here you go, ye horny fuckers. I will never understand why. This is so cursed, but hell if I’m not committed to it. 
> 
> We all know he’s helpless with Mads. There’s no saving him. Maybe we can make him seem a tad less... pathetic? Helpless? with someone else.
> 
> Side note: Feel free to translate this cursed thing, since some people seem to be reading with translating software. Just shoot me a comment.

Somehow, you feel like the room is silently judging you. From Hideo’s set of neatly placed figurines, to the PC on the table in the corner, it’s like a thousand pair of eyes scrutinizing you for what you’re about to (hopefully) do. With nothing else better to do, you fidget and starts poking around things in the room. Nothing that he’ll get mad over of course. _What is taking him so long?_

After you’re done fiddling with everything you can find, Hideo steps in as you are just sitting back down onto the bed. He’s still wearing that damned black sweater that he seems to have infinite amounts of (You take notes to check his closet next time) and a pair of jeans. Hideo is holding _something_ behind him, and puts it out of sight. You are about to take a peek, but the look in his eyes tells you not to. 

Hideo circles the bed as he stalks towards you in a predatory way, which is new but not unwelcome. He takes a deep breath, and lays you slowly on the bed while he crawls over, nudging you towards the middle of it. “If there is anything that you don’t like, you tell me to stop. You will tell me, understand?”

_Just what is he planning?_ “I will, I promise you.”

“Good.” With that, he leans down and cups the back of your head for a chaste kiss, and you feel his tongue probing lightly, and you grant him entrance. What started as a small kiss devolves into tongue fucking territory really quickly, pulling out small breathy moans from the both of you.

As he moves his head to give small kisses and nibble on on your shoulder, Hideo shoves his hands into your slightly oversized T-shirt, to caress your body softly, although his fingers are a bit... twitchy. _He’s just nervous. It’s further than we’ve ever got so far,_ you thought, and return the favor by sneaking your hands into his sweatshirt, smoothing them over wherever you can grab onto. 

Out of want and curiosity, you find your way around and thumbs over his nipples. That grants you a passionate kiss and a slow grind against your hip. As your hips involuntarily start to do the same, it turns into a slow grind between the two of you. His hands slowly travel downward towards your pants, unravels the string tightening it, and slips one of them underneath. If you weren’t blushing before, you are now, as you realize one thing in humiliation; you are already soaking wet in your panties, just from a make out session, and a hand down your pants. You’re sure that he can feel it too, as he stares into it with labored breathing and starts rubbing at your opening with more pressure. 

You put your arm against your eyes in embarrassment, but you hips just can’t stop moving. From what you can feel, you are not the only one affected, as the grinding against your hip speed up, and you can hear the barely held back moans from him.

You try to blindly reach for his half-hard cock to return the favor, but he swats your hand away. You attempt to move your hips quicker, silently urging him to go quicker, but he holds his hand away, and won’t continue until you calm down enough to go with his slow pace. You even tried lightly kicking him, but nothing. Nothing is working.

This is exquisite torture. This is infuriating. You never want it to stop but it’s just _not enough._ You are desperate for something, _anything._ You are struggling to breathe out of overstimulation, but have no help to get you anywhere near the edge. With the pent up sexual frustration built up over the past few months, you are not above begging. So, you beg.

“Please, just, I- I want, just ah- keep going, don’t stop, go f-faster, _please-_ ”

As you hear a choked-out groan with Hideo’s hand speeding up, you know you’ve hit jackpot. You try to reach for his now still hips again, but he moves you hand away, again. There’s nothing else you can do at his mercy, so you keep rambling off, hoping for the best. 

“Oh God, please, fuck, faster, I want it, please, give, ah give me-“

In an act of either desperation, utter brilliance or stupidity, you let out something you never thought you would during your first night with someone. 

“Please, Sir, please, keep going, I’ll do anything for it, just please _pleasepleasejust-_ “

You are so deep into your head space that you didn’t realize everything stopped for a while. When you head is clear again, realization dawns on you like a ton of bricks. _Oh God. Did I just- Oh no, oh dear god, no._ Authority kink in your first time with your biggest crush? Really? Good job, you. 

A gravelly but wavering voice snaps you out of your panic. “What did you just say?” Was that Hideo? That didn’t sound like him at all.

You take a look at Hideo, around you. His face is buried in your shoulder, glasses still on, trying to calm his messed up breathing. One of his hands is bunching up the bedsheets next to your head, almost tearing it. You look down, and you can see the hand that was in your pants is now forcefully pushing against his painful looking hard-on. “Huh?”

“Answer my question.” Hideo sounds angry. No, not that. Lust. The puzzle pieces click together in your brain.

“Oh yes, please, Sir I’ll do anything, I-“

Your breath is knocked out as his weight drops on you, and he pulls your face in for the most depraved kiss you’ve ever had. As he pulls away, you decide to test out your theory. “Thank you, Sir.”

You watch his pupils dilate, and Hideo lets out a noise like he’s been stabbed, before kissing you with too much teeth and tongue in any other situation. Your brain vaguely register him grinding, no, _humping_ your thigh, and you try your best to grab on to any part of him to just _hold on._

Moments later, he goes absolutely still. It’s like a switch got flipped. He holds himself up on his elbows, and stares into your eyes, noses barely touching. You can feel his erection still resting on your thigh. His face is intimidatingly blank, save for his pupils dilated to their limits. His voice is so still save for the gravelly texture, that for a moment, you thought you have been hallucinating for the past few minutes.

“I was trying so hard to stay calm, to go slow, so that I won’t overwhelm you, or scare you away the first time around. But _you_ ,” he says accusingly, “just really like pushing my buttons, don’t you?”

He leans down to whisper in your ear, as if there’s someone else in the room. “You have been making this very difficult for me, did you know that? You really think that I can’t see the looks you give me in the office? Do you have any idea how many times I saw it, and couldn’t do anything about it?” 

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. _He knew. He knew all along, and never said anything about it._

“The reason that we never moved past making out is that I couldn’t trust myself to stop when I have to. I thought I was ready, but you are seriously challenging my self-restraint right now.” 

Hideo sits up suddenly, moves away and sits on the edge of the bed and leaves you disheveled, panting in the middle of the bed. “Make up your mind when I still have control over myself. Don’t make a decision that you’ll regret.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SIKE. I’ma just stop you RIGHT there. A second part is coming, but writing porn is really tiring, and I’m also an evil bastard, so. This is an even worse cliffhanger than last time, lol.
> 
> Hideo Kojima, I am so fucking sorry. However, as there are 2-3 more chapters coming, I guess I’m not THAT sorry. I’ll be more apologetic when I’m done with the thing.
> 
> Leave a comment. Why not?


	5. To The Finish Line, And Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s actually here. No, for real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I CHANGED THE TAGS AGAIN. READ THEM, PLEASE. If there’s ANYTHING you don’t like, please NOPE THE F*** OUTTA HERE.
> 
> So, that was quite the dick move on my part last chapter. In order to redeem my dastardly behavior of figurative cock-blocking, here’s a 3.5k chapter with porn included.
> 
> After writing this I desperately needed some eye bleach, and my sanity is officially yeeted out the metaphorical window. WHAT HAVE I DONE. AAAAAAH.

_ Well, that didn’t go as expected. _ You slowly sit up, and turn towards Hideo’s back. He seems to be shaking, just the tiniest amount. You contemplate your options. You can stop whatever this is, but you really don’t want to. The idea of him holding back nothing is very hot, actually. You can go comfort him, but what do you say then? “ _ Aw, it’s fine. We can try again, sometime.” _ Yeah, no. Not doing that.

The main problem is that Hideo doesn’t trust himself. If he somehow gets over it, maybe you still have a chance to do this. 

Suddenly, a voice rings in your head.  _ He doesn’t trust himself, but you trust him? _ You do. You will trust him with your life.  _ Does he know that? _ Now that you think about it, you two never discussed this topic.  _ Perhaps, it’s about time that you do. _ Then, it clicked.  _ Oh, Right. _

You gather yourself up, and scoot towards Hideo. His head turns to you, still wearing that blank face. You take a deep breath, and lets it out.

“I made my decision. I trust you with this. Let’s do it.”

Hideo lets out a cold chuckle as he squeeze and relax his hands, fidgeting. “You do, huh. You know there’s no turning back. I won’t hold back anymore.”

“I know, I trust you,. That’s what I want, too.”

Time seems to stop, for a brief moment. He shudders out a breath, as he relaxes, and his back slouches. He looks down to his feet, before turning his head towards you again, this time in a serious expression. “Say stop if you even have a slither of doubt for what you want. You will tell me. If I don’t stop the moment you say to, do what you need to stop me.” 

_ This is it, then. _ “I promise to stop you if I ever needed to.” This is a promise you don’t plan on breaking. Not now, not ever.

Hideo suddenly pounces on you for a quick kiss. “You will tell me.” It’s not a question, but a statement. You nod frantically, to reassure him. He then slides off of you, and makes himself presentable to no one in particular. 

“I’m going to the closet. When I get back, I want you naked, back on the bed, legs open wide. Understand?”

You can feel yourself getting wet again, just from that.  _ Fuck.  _ “Yes. Of course, yes.” 

“Say it properly.”  _ Properly? _ Oh, yes.

“Yes sir.”

“Good.” With that, he stalks towards his closet, without turning back. You freeze for a moment, before getting to work. Quickly, you shed your shirt, bra and pants, dumping them in a pile on the floor. After you take off your panties, you confirm that yes, they’re utterly ruined. The panties quickly joins the pile on the floor, and your climb back onto the bed, lay on your back, and convince yourself to open up your legs, knees up, without dying of humiliation.  _ God, you feel so exposed. _

You stare firmly at the ceiling as you try to calm yourself down, and you hear footsteps getting closer. Your tilt your head towards the noise, and you see Hideo wearing a suit jacket, unbuttoned, walking around the bed with an air of borderline arrogance. He stops right at the middle, gives you a quick once over with an appreciative hum. “Look what we have here...” He stares right at your opening, and you feel a bit of wetness seeping out from there. You’re ruining the sheets before you can even start properly. 

Hideo grabs the swivel chair from his PC desk, set it at the end of the bed, and just sits as he continues staring. Although there is nothing holding you down, you feel pinned, inspected, and you violently stomp down the urge to close up your thighs.  _ No. _

He spreads his legs and lean back on his chair with a bored expression, as if this is an everyday thing. He dismissively waves his hand, “Spread them wider for me.” With a deep breath, you move to spread your legs further, but he clicks his tongue and says, “Not that.”

You follow the path of his eyes, and your breathing speeds up.  _ No. He can’t possibly mean- Oh God. _ “Yessir.” Your hand shake as it slowly creeps down your stomach towards your folds, and spreads them open with your fingers. Your head slam against the pillow, hyperventilating while you will yourself to hold still and not combust on the spot.

You hear the chair creaking, and you spare a glance at Hideo. He’s now leaning forward, hands gripping the handles. “Good girl. Hmm... show me how you touch yourself.” You feel yourself throb at that. “Go on. Just pretend that I’m not here.”

You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You rub teasingly at your clit as your other hand fondle your breast and pinch a nipple. With all the built up tension, humiliation, and the intense scrutiny you are under, it doesn’t take long for you to start fucking yourself with two fingers vigorously. Letting out moans that you can’t stop, you are rushing to the edge  _ alarmingly _ quickly. 

You hear a command, “Cum for me.” and that’s what pushes you flying over the edge, no doubt soaking the sheets more than you already did. You are learning a lot of new things about yourself, very quickly.

As you pull your fingers out, he clicks his tongue again. “Keep them in, and go slow. Only take them out when I tell you to.” It feels like you’re going to die with how oversensitive you are, but you can’t stop now, especially now that Hideo’s climbing onto the mattress, kneeling as he towers over you. He watches for a few more moments, before he’s satisfied. “Take them out, let me have a look.”

You open your eyes as you pull your fingers out, and holds it up for him, shaking. He takes your hand and gives it a thorough inspection, before he lets you go. You tilt your head, and you can see that his jeans have a straining bulge in it, but he is also doing nothing about it. 

Distracted as you are, you are startled as you feel two thicker fingers shove themselves in unceremoniously, his thumb rubbing slow circles on your clit. Your hands reaches out instinctively, but he glares at you, and stops. “Keep them to yourself.” Seeing that he won’t continue until you drop your hands, you plop them on the mattress, holding onto the sheets. “Yes Sir.”

Satisfied, he speeds up his fingers a tiny bit as a reward. “You will cum on my fingers or not at all, and only when I tell you to. Understand?” Your brain stops functioning for a moment, and he stops, again. “Do you understand?”

You come back to yourself, and you sputter out a response. “Ye-Yes, Sir.” He gives no response, only to start a brutal pace with his fingers, and you let out a yelp, overstimulated, hips bucking wildly along with the rhythm. You can feel yourself hurling towards the finish line as your moans gets louder, and he slows to a snail’s pace.

You let out an embarrassingly long whine, and your hand fly to cover your mouth, face turning red.  _ That was so undignified… _ He stops,  _ again.  _ “Hands off your mouth. I want to hear you.” Fearing that he might stop again like the bastard that he is, you comply and move your hand to the pillow you head is resting on. This time, he sets an unpredictable pace, and you can’t do anything but to take it, moans unfiltered.

This is exquisite torture. This is infuriating. You never want it to stop but it’s just _ not enough.  _ This time however,  _ you asked for it. _ He said he won’t hold back, so he doesn’t, and there is nothing you can do about it.

You have no idea how long this has gone on for. Every time you’re close, he slows down and builds it up again. Hideo seems hellbent on breaking you, just with his fingers, never stopping. Just how many times did he leave you hanging? You’ve lost count. 

This time however, he is determined to make you cum before he tells you to. Your g-spot is being assaulted by unerring accuracy, and you lets out a loud moan, hips almost sore but twisting all the same. Your hand involuntarily flies towards your mouth again, you can’t help it, and he immediately pulls out his fingers fully. You kick him out of frustration, but he catches your ankle before making contact. 

“Eyes on me.” Your looks at him, and he looks disappointed. “You just can’t follow simple orders, can you?” He sneers. “Stay still, hands on the bedposts.” Your hands hold onto them as Hideo leaves the bed, to pick up the mysterious thing he hid away since the beginning. 

It’s a scarf. Specifically, the scarf that you wore to work, and almost forgot to bring home today. He crawls back onto the bed, over you, and ties your wrists to the bedpost. You test its strength out of curiosity, and your hands are not getting out of it. It doesn’t hurt, but there’s no escape either.

Hideo hums as he gives you a long, appreciative look, re-adjusting himself in his jeans. “Much better. You are so beautiful, like this.”

His fingers goes back to teasing your folds again, and you can’t suppress a shiver. “You cum on my fingers, or not at all, and I want you to beg for it.” His puts them in slowly, and leans in to growl in your ear, “Beg. Beg me to let you cum, tell me just how much you love what I’m doing to you, and I might just let you.” 

That is the encouragement you need to feel your pussy dripping even more, and ramble on as your brain-to-mouth filter is now nonexistent. 

“Oh yes, Sir please, I love Ah- I love your fingers, Sir,  _ fuck,  _ don’t stop-“ 

His breathing turns unsteady, as he speeds up his hand in you, and gives himself a harsh grope. As much as he is holding you back, he is holding  _ himself _ back, too.

“Please, I, I can’t, faster, Sir, just, just let me cum, please please please, more, I,  _ give it to me- _ ”

You tug on the scarf out of instinct, and Hideo moans for the first time since you started...  _ whatever this is, _ and it clicks. You tug on the scarf more vigorously, and babbles on. _ If he wants you bound, under his mercy, you’re gonna give it to him. _

“Please, I want it, it- it feels so good, shit, faster, just plea-“

He lets out a pained groan, and pins you down to nibble on your collarbone, growling. “Cum. Give it to me. NOW.” 

You can feel his fingers nailing on that spot, you can’t stop moving, you folds are dripping and that hint of pain from his teeth, it’s all so much, then it hits,  _ hard.  _ There are stars behind your eyelids, your blood is pounding in your ears. The neighbors can probably hear how loudly you’re moaning but  _ you don’t care anymore, you’ve never come so hard in your LIFE. _

Hideo lets you ride through it on your own, and pulls away as you slow to a halt. You gather enough energy to look at him, and while he looks disinterested, his eyes are ablaze. Hideo kneels up as he holds out his wet fingers to your lips, in a wordless command. His hand is shivering, and you can see his Adam’s apple bobbing as you part your lips, putting his fingers in to suck on it. 

You can taste yourself on it, and you feel yourself heating up again and whine. He probes further, and you try not to gag as you perform a pseudo-blowjob, making sure to lick and suck on every small part. He hisses and lets out small, uncharacteristically high whines, and you can see him teasing himself light and slowly, through his infuriatingly still-zipped jeans. It is at this moment that you realize:

All that to him, was just  _ foreplay _ . You’ve already had two  _ mind-blowing _ orgasms while butt naked, and he’s still teasing himself,  _ with an extra suit jacket and glasses on. _

When he finally pulls out his fingers, you try to ask him. “C-can I... I want...” 

“What do you want, exactly?” Hideo asks, with that smug smile. He knows what you want, that bastard. You swallow down the lump in your throat.

“I uh, I want to feel you, I-in, in my mouth, please. Sir.” 

He lets out a cold but unsteady laugh as his hips grind on his palm ever so slowly. Surely it must be chafing, but he doesn’t seem to care. “How much do you want it, hmm?”

“I re- really want it, please, Sir, let me have it, please.”

His shoulders relax for the smallest amount, and scoots towards you. “I do seem to be in a spoiling mood today.” Hideo reaches over your head to untie the scarf, and throws it away off the bed, somewhere. You flex your wrists as they are going a bit stiff, along with some rug burns. 

Hideo lifts your chin so that he can stare right into your eyes. “If you even think about stopping, tap twice anywhere on me, like this.” He taps on your thigh twice, quickly. “Do what you need to if I don’t.”

He lets go of your chin and you nod. “Two times If I need to stop, got it.”

His tone changes to a softer, patient one. “Wonderful. Sit up, make yourself comfortable.” 

You sit up sluggishly, as the lower half of your body is now essentially jello. You grab a pillow and put it on your back. Taking a deep breath to relax, you nod again. “I’m ready.”

He takes a moment for himself, and kneels up, so that the zipper is level with your face. “Remember, two taps.”

You make a noise of affirmation. “Two taps.”

His tone changes back to an authoritative one. “This time, I’ll let you use your hands. Go on.”

You pop the button open, and you feel his hand going to the back of your head, petting. He lets out a hiss as you open the zipper slowly, and you can see a dark spot on his boxers. You pull down the jeans and boxers just enough for his dick to be free, and he sighs. An idea pops into your head.

“Ca-can I use my hand, please?”

Hideo’s hands move to grab the headboard. “Only for a short time.” 

You take a look at his erection, and learn two things. First, it seems pretty average, on the longer side, with a bit of girth as well. This leads to the second point: it’s just big enough that your throat will likely be out of service tomorrow, but not too intimidating. Thankfully, your job doesn’t require a lot of talking at the moment.

You slowly wrap your hand around it, and give it a light stroke. Hideo’s breathing is wrecked, just from that. He’s leaking pre cum already, and you swipe the head to gather it as lube, for a smoother glide. As you continue your exploration, you feel his hip shift forward, shaking with the effort to hold still. You are determined to pull a moan from him, but before you can, he swats you hand away forcefully.

“Enough, enough of that. Hands off.” Hideo takes hold of his cock and put it in front of your lips. “Open up, and get to work.” 

“Yes sir.” You brace yourself before opening your mouth, making sure to not touch with your teeth. As he feeds it in deeper, you lick and suck on it as much as you can, and moan at his taste. Slowly but surely, you two build a rhythm, as you pay extra attention to suck on the tip when you pull out. One of his hands is buried in your hair, not pulling, but twitching, just like before. You can tell that he is finally letting himself go too, as his hips are making small, steady thrusts, just not enough to make you gag, and moaning softly. For as long as you two have been doing this for, he has an impressive amount of self-control over himself.

Until now. Suddenly, Hideo takes hold of your hair, just hard enough to make you feel it, and shoves his dick down your throat, letting out a loud groan. “I just, I just really need you to choke on it right now, please, just a little longer...”

You try to breath through your nose, and you don’t gag, surprisingly. Trying to move your tongue is futile, so you settle for staying still and moaning, which he takes as encouragement to pull it out quickly and shoving it in again for a few more seconds. Your jaw is sore and throat probably ruined, but you also feel your pussy getting wet.  _ What is wrong with you? _

“Please, just a little more, just fucking choke on it like your life depends on it, please, I really really need this, right now-“

You look up at Hideo, to find that him staring at your face, predatory and almost feral. The glasses are a bit slanted, but he doesn’t care enough to fix it. You let out a whine at the display and his words, and you feel his cock twitch in your throat, along with a growl.

Although he’s the one with a dick down your throat, you’re the one rendering him incapable of human speech. Hideo tightens his hand in your hair even more, just on this side of painful, and shoves you down his cock just a little longer each time, while you whine almost pitifully, helpless. He doesn’t talk anymore, just grunting and growling, mindless in desire, until he lets out a yelp and cums down your throat. This time you sputter as he rides through it, but managed to swallow most of it. It’s not as bad as you’d think, actually.

You feel used, as if your mouth was just an opening to fuck into. That was base, animalistic, pornographic, and the new best thing ever.

As he comes back to his senses, he loosens his hand, and pulls you away entirely. You quickly wipe your mouth with your forearm. Hideo shuffles backwards, and both of you just sit and breath for a moment. Finally, he speaks up, voice rough in abuse. “Sorry, I... I lost my composure then. It’s not supposed to happen. Are you well?” 

You are speechless, metaphorically and literally. That was somehow the best experience in your life. You’re still horny but you’re too tired. He didn’t scare you away, and you still love him. There’s so much you want to say but your voice won’t let you. You settle for a thumbs up.

Hideo seems to take it as what it is, and tucks himself back in his jeans. He scoots off the bed, and makes his way out of the room. “Don’t worry. I’ll be back shortly.” He leaves for a few minutes, and comes back with a cup of warm water and damp towel. He holds out the cup of water to you. “Here, drink. You’ll need it.”

You take the water, and drinks it slowly. You hand the now empty cup to him, and he places it on his desktop, while dragging back his chair where it should be.  _ Old habits die hard.  _ Holding the towel in one hand, he settles on the bed, gesturing for you to lie down. “Come on. Let me clean you up.”

Hideo wipes you down gently but thoroughly, taking care to be extra gentle when he’s cleaning up your nether regions, which is still oversensitive. However, you have calmed down significantly, and not really horny anymore, so it’s not that bad. Besides, you are too tired for a proper shower anyways, and you just lay limply as he does what he will.

After Hideo considers you clean enough, which took him way too long to achieve, if you’re being absolutely honest (“Stop it, my arm’s clean. You’re gonna rub my skin out.” “I just want to make sure of it.” “It’s my arm, it’s clean when I say it is.”), he puts the towel on the chair, and gives your forehead a quick kiss. “Want a change of clothes?”

You contemplate for a moment before nodding. That sounds like a great idea. He gives an indulgent smile, before heading to his closet, and taking out two set of clothes, and hands one to you. Oversized soft t-shirt, loose elastic pants, laundered panties with no bra. The ultimate sleepwear combo. You sluggishly put on your clothes as he changes into his, which consists of a t-shirt, boxers, and a pair of neon basketball pants that he will never admit he owns to anyone else, and an affront to fashion and humanity. But hey, it’s sleepwear, and who cares anyways?

As Hideo turns back towards the bed, you are already under the covers, waiting for him. You can hear him putting down his glasses and turning off the lights, before joining you in bed.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, you made it. I have no idea why you decide to do yourself like this, but here we are. 
> 
> There’s another chapter coming (which should be the last one), and it’s done! Good lord, writing porn is so exhausting, and I’m not even sure if I’m actually any good at it. I’m not writing erotica for another three years at least, unless I decide to torture myself again for whatever reason. It still baffles me to this day that people, actual people, are reading this.
> 
> Thanks for the comments, and leave one if you want. Why not?


	6. Nighttime Contemplations, And The Day After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the title. It’s as simple as that, and it’s as complicated as that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT’S DONE! OH MY GOD, IT’S FINALLY OVER. This started as a one-off jokey, Fifty Shades of Grey parody. This is still a jokey, Fifty Shades of Grey parody, but I might consider writing more. Just, without the smut. That took too much energy. To whoever that comes across this terrible thing in the future, I am sorry.
> 
> To the people who took it seriously, thank you. I hope you had a good time reading it. Just don’t read it in the office please. At least please don’t get caught. It’s not like I can stop you, however.
> 
> We have a special guest today.

There’s one thing that no one knows, not even you, until tonight. Hideo is very clingy after sex. Usually you’d be the one clambering onto him like a koala, and by endless amount of miracles, his spine is safe from your neck locking.

Tonight however, he is spooning you from the back. Neck buried in your shoulder, arms and legs rendering you immobile for a few hours, at least. It’s very nice, actually. He’s a natural furnace, and as someone who’s got cold hands, it’s a pleasure that you want to see a repeat of more often.

The steps to getting there were rather exhausting, but it was worth it.

As tired as you are, you can’t sleep, and you have a question that you really need the answer to. You try to twist towards him, but he won’t let you. As there is no other choice, you speak towards the wall in hopes that he can hear it.

“What’s with the suit jacket?”

You feel his head nuzzle in closer, purring. “Hmm?”

You try turning again, to no avail. “Why did you put on a suit jacket during... that?” He makes an annoyed noise, and holds you even tighter. You elbow him lightly. “Come on. Humor me.”

His head crooks even further into your shoulder somehow, and his fingers taps insistently on your abdomen. _He’s embarrassed._ “It makes me feel more in control. It works around other people, but not you. It didn’t work as I expected it to.” The apology is left unsaid, hanging in the air.

Your hand move to his tapping fingers, and pet them gently to sooth him. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It all worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

He makes a small, noncommittal noise, before planting a small kiss on your neck. “Mm. Thank you for indulging me.” The tapping stopped.

You hums, content. “I enjoyed it too. Probably more than I should have.”

Hideo’s purring turned into a half growl. “We can talk about it tomorrow, after work. Sleep.”

You relax, and close your eyes. The sleep is dreamless.

~

Light seep through your eyes as you wake up. Hideo is still glued to your back. _What time is it? What day is it?_ You look around for an alarm clock, and it’s on the nightstand next to you. The time is right out of sight. You flail your arms slowly to reach it, but your arm is too short. You push at Hideo’s arms, to pry it open, but the embrace only gets tighter. There’s no escape.

Determined to see the time, you attempt dragging yourself towards the alarm clock with deadweight behind you, to minimal success. It’s just enough to for you to reach the clock, and take a look at it. 7:37. You’re usually up earlier than this. 

_Crap._ You’re going to be late. You slap Hideo lightly, while you freak out mentally. _Oh I’m going to be late, I gotta leave, where are my stuff, let go you bastard, why aren’t you waking up, just let me go you-_

“We have time. It’s Saturday.”

You freeze, and look at the clock again. It is in fact, Saturday. There’s another hour before you need to get ready. _Did he plan for this too?_

You hear a hum from behind. “Go back to sleep.” He shifts slightly, to make himself comfortable. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”

And so you close your eyes, and fall asleep for the second time.

~

The clock is beeping. You reach for the alarm clock blindly to silence it. 9:05. Hideo is unsurprisingly, still asleep. _“Oh, I’ll wake you up when it’s time,”_ You mock mentally. _Look how that turned out._

This time, his grip is loose enough that you can shimmy yourself off the bed, and stretch yourself fully. That was one of the best sleep you’ve ever had. You turn back towards Hideo, and slowly nudges him. “Hey, it’s time. You’re gonna be late. Get up.” He grumbles, but drags himself up anyways.

Time is of the essence, and both of you don’t waste much time in getting ready. When you two are at the door, Hideo pulls you in for a quick kiss, which doesn’t happen very often, and you can imagine time slowing down, flower petals floating down from the top. Alas, it’s just his apartment. 

He pats you on the back a few times, “You go first, I’ll catch up later.”

You nod, and walk out the door to the elevator. Being caught walking out the same time as your boss would be awkward. Especially when no one knows about the relationship.

The walk to work is uneventful. You get yourself a breakfast in a nearby 7-11, and take the bus. It’s just like any other day. No one bats an eye as you walk into the office, five minutes early, save for the usual greetings. You head to your cubicle, turn on your PC, and get to work on that drawing you didn’t finish last night. When Hideo walks in right on time, you do the greeting, and pretend that he doesn’t exist.

Break time rolls around, and you head to the pantry for some coffee. It’s surprisingly empty. Seems like everyone is catching up on their work due to the lack of overtime yesterday. You should too, but you just can’t function properly without coffee. 

As you take a sip of the coffee, you hear footsteps approaching. You turn your head, expecting more chit chat with colleagues. What you didn’t expect is Yoji Shinkawa of all people, walking in the pantry with an empty mug. _That’s new._ You’ve never seen him in here before. You quickly swallow your mouthful of coffee, and do a small bow. “Good morning, Shinkawa-San.”

He gives a small wave, “Hey there.” _Why is he here? He should be quite busy, right now._

You slide over as he takes up your spot to use the coffee machine. Without even looking, he asks, “So how was last night?”

_What?_ You almost spit out your coffee, but managed to swallow it in time. “What last night?” _Did he know already? How?_

He takes out the mug from the machine, and casually turns around. “Yeah. You and Kojima right? How was it?” You freeze like a deer in headlights, and he gives a chuckle. “Relax, there’s only the two of us. They won’t come in when I’m here. If you head back to work late, just tell them that I dragged you here, yeah?” 

You nod stiffly. “Of course, Shinkawa-San.” 

“Just Shinkawa is fine when it’s just us.” “Of course.”

He leans on the counter, and take a sip of something. It doesn’t look like coffee at all. “You still haven’t answer my question yet. How was it?”

You force yourself to calm down. He doesn’t seems to be angry. “It was good.” There’s just one thing you need to know. “Did he tell you?”

“Oh, no. He rarely talks about his private life, if at all. He’s just predictable.”

“So... how did you know?”

Shinkawa takes another sip from his cup. “Kojima pesters you more than anyone else, and he looks at your illustrations more often. There’s always a five minute gap between you and him coming into the office on specific days, including today. No more, no less. Oh yeah, did you notice that he always writes his notes for you in pink memo stickers?”

Now that you think about it, he’s right. Although your desk is slathered in different colored memos, the ones with Hideo’s handwriting on it is always, without a fail, pink. You nod slowly in realization. 

“It also helps that I have been working with him just a little longer than the others.” He turns to you, with the intimidating smile Hideo is known for. _So that’s where he got it from._

“It might be small to others, but for Kojima, he’s practically screaming from the rooftops.”

That’s fair and all, but, “Why are you telling me this?”

He puts down his cup, hand crossed. “When Kojima’s happy, he’s less of a pain to work with. Not that I don’t like working with him, but he can be overbearing sometimes. He also tends to pick on small things, and other people when he’s stressed. You are doing all of us a favor here, keeping him in a good mood.”

Gesturing vaguely with his hand, Shinkawa continues, “Whatever you two did last night, it’s working wonders. Let’s keep it going, yeah?”

You feel yourself getting flustered, “Yes, O-of course.”

He reaches for his mug, and stand up straight. “Feel free to come to me outside work if you need to complain about him, I know all about it. Emotional support is very important, especially with that guy.” You can only nod, not having a proper response to that.

He makes his way out, but stops midway, turning back. “Oh, one last thing?” 

You slowly take a sip of your now lukewarm coffee to delay the response, “Yes?”

“He wore a scarf to work today. Do remember to take it back from him, or you might never see it again. Either that, or tell him to keep it. He needs one for the weather. See you in the meeting.”

With that, Shinkawa is gone, leaving you jaw dropped, speechless in the pantry. Your soul fly back to your body, and you check the time. It’s almost time. You make you way back to your cubicle, look at the pink notes, and smile. 

Just another day at work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hideo Kojima, I am now fully sorry, as I am done writing this. 
> 
> Surprise Pantry talk. How was it?
> 
> To write more of this or to not write more of this, that is the question. Given the surprisingly positive feedback, I just might. Don’t have high hopes, though.
> 
> I didn’t talk about it in the past chapters, but I saw my fic just floating in my Twitter timeline, screen-capped by an artist I liked back in my Ironstrange days. Sadly, it got deleted, and I didn’t screenshot this surreal moment. Not gonna mention any names here, but you know who you are. Thank you, for that unreal moment in my life. 
> 
> I hope he never saw the tweet, though.


End file.
